Yea, I'm Winter. The sharpest swords and the quickest comebacks, that's me. Heckle me at your peril.
Is this really the time for jokes?
What, just because DeMarco called it quits? Now there's a pirate I always wanted to bring down a few pegs. Pity he always avoided me. His sister Lesedi, on the other hand... Yeah, I suppose I do hold my tongue when she's around. She's like a hornets' nest on legs. I once saw her headbutt a shark because it looked at her in a funny way. Anyway, so long as my clients stay hideous, stupid and pathetic, I'll keep the business going. So, would you like a loyalty card?
I didn't come here just to be insulted!
Good - that means you're also planning to buy something. If you want banter that doesn't hurt your precious pirate feelings, so see Eleanor at Roaring Traders. The two of you can trade knock-knock jokes. But I've played "Open Speaking Trumpet" nights at every Outpost, and let me tell you - nothing gets the crows going like some casual cruelty. Speaking of casual cruelty, who sold you that outfit?
Look, I'm just here to shop.
Just as well; the Ugliest Pirate Competition's been cancelled. Anyway, times are tough. Who else am I meant to reduce to a gibbering mess with my witticisms if not morons like yourself? Besides, I'm a weaponsmith. I'm supposed to know all the different kinds of swordfighting techniques used by pirates. That includes insults. I'm glad Flameheart disappeared, though, 'cos he was badly in need of new material. Jokes about supplies dwindling? Give me a break...
You're not as stupid as you look. You're MORE stupid. Everyone knows gunpowder kegs are the way to solve disputes between pirates. If your brains were a gunpowder keg, it wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.
Why did your parents decide to call you Winter?
They didn't. I used to be called Summer, but it was a bad decision and a terrible fit, so I changed it. I'd say the same about the clothes you are wearing.
If your cutlasses are as sharp as your jokes then I'm a dead pirate walking.
Is that really the best insult you've got? I've won "Open Speaking Trumpet" comedy nights at every outpost on the seas. No-one wants to sit at the front when I'm performing. But I'm a fair woman. I won't have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
• Ah, my favourtite customer... just left... an hour ago. • Looking sharp! My swords, not you. • How can I help? Make it quick, before you forget.
• I'd say goodbye... but there's been nothing good about your visit. • It's been a pleasure... seeing you leave. • Come back soon! Next year will be fine.